I am in a weird mood today. I think it’s all the changes happening at once. I moved out of my apartment yesterday and am currently sitting in my makeshift foam pad bed on the floor with all the trash and shit I have to clean up. I will be homeless in Richmond for about a month couch surfing and working until it’s time to move to NY in a month.
Secondly, I dropped Tut off with my parents for the foreseeable future. That was so much harder than I ever thought it would be. He is my rock and got me through so much the last year. Which brings me to my next point, today is new years eve and I’ll be spending it with my best friend but also cleaning out my apartment. I have officially had Tut for a year today. And, my year hasn’t been that great. He got me through everything, from sitting on my lap and lickikng me while I cried and cried after the first person I ever let in in two years cheated on me. He always made me feel better about being alone. I had a really lonely year, never making any real connection with anyone. No one was ever interested in me as Alexa, just Alexa as the vagina. If I didn’t have Tut, I’d have had a really horrible year. Dropping him off also signifies the changes coming in my life. I’m about to move away and potentially never see so many people I hold so dear ever again. I’m leaving it all behind. I feel like it’s my time to move on but it doesn’t make it any less sad.
I’m just an emotional wreck.